Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Secret Sniper

My husband has a secret sniper that comes out occasionally when things are not going well. I believe he calls in the sniper when he is under stress or feels as though I need him to play a stronger "devil's advocate" role. Regardless of the cause, I sometimes find myself running for cover from this unexpected and unwelcome visitor!

Our older daughter has not thrived on this diet as much as our younger daughter. She does not seem to get quite the same upticks as her sister. She will show a mild improvement or nothing at all when we layer in something great, like liver. She continues to have "poo" challenges (sorry babe - hopefully this isn't still floating on the web when you are 16). We sometimes waffle on whether or not this is the only thing we need to be doing for her. We sometimes still argue on the approach.

My husband has remained mostly on board but not totally on board throughout our dietary adventure. His secret sniper continued to pop up and take shots when I least expected it. Even when one of the girls was very obviously thriving. Finally one day when we were arguing I told my husband that until he read the GAPS book / watched Dr. Natasha's speech I was no longer going to argue with him. He was arguing from an emotional point of view and I was trying to counter with science and research. It wasn't working.

So he watched a video of Dr. Natasha Campbell-McBride and began to read the book. That day he met me at the door and told me that I needed to figure out how to do this on a bigger scale because so many children have terrible gut flora but, "How are mothers going to be able to do this?" He was finally on board.

But then a few months go by and we have a setback (or regression). Again the questioning. His back and forth antics were worse than Brett Favre deciding whether or not to retire. Not knowing whether we are on the same team on any given day is stressful. Judging by the many yahoo group conversations, plenty of moms doing SCD/GAPS for their children have this same conflict. Sometimes the men do not see there is anything wrong with the child anyway. They may say things like, "Don't worry so much. (S)He will grow out of it." Mamas *know* when something is wrong, but putting it all succinctly into words and convincing a husband is a skill many of us have not quite mastered. So there is conflict.

On a good day, when the sniper is on vacation and not available, my husband will say wonderful things like, "This diet works and is something that only a mother would be dedicated enough to do. It works, but dads just wouldn't do it." Those moments make me realize that he understands the difficulty and how deep the love goes.

Today my husband is mostly on board. There are still some challenges, particularly for Ani, that we will pursue. I keep thinking if I can support their bodies a little better that it would aid the natural healing process. Wouldn't it be great to be on GAPS for only 2-3 years instead of 4? Perhaps it is really a deep patience and trust we need to develop while we wait for the bodies in the family to heal.

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